Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Having Sex in Lebanon




I have a story for you. It’s a sad story. My 22 year old best friend just started having sex, obviously pre-marriage. So we were talking, and I happened to ask her what kind of protection she’s using.
He pulls out,” she says.
I’m, sorry, what?? Yes, yes, ‘he pulls out’ was her response. No condoms, she is not on the pill, no plan B, nothing.

Oh, sorry, let me note that this is all taking place in Lebanon.

So I begin to patiently lecture my friend about the fact that the pulling out method can still get you pregnant, that it does nothing to prevent STDs, and then I go to the computer, do some research on all these things, and send info to her in an email.

She then proceeds to have sex two more times using, again, only the pulling out method.

Ok, so part of this is, no offense, because my friend is being an idiot, and the bigger part of it is there being NO SEX EDUCATION IN LEBANESE SCHOOLS. Yes, I realize it is a conservative society in the sense that people, more specifically women, are expected to wait until marriage until having sex. Let’s not get into how ridiculous that is and that the same is not expected of men and that that is a double standard which makes no sense unless these men are fucking each other.

So again I look up more information and send it to my friend. I also tell her we are setting her an appointment this week with a doctor to get her a prescription for birth control.

This morning I stopped by a pharmacy to buy her condoms and the morning after pill. She asked me to do it for her because I guess she is too embarrassed to do so herself. Goes to show you how much sex is a taboo in Lebanese society. Even more taboo is that I walked into the pharmacy and as there were two other customers there, I walked out, not wanting to buy condoms and try to explain the morning after pill (il suba7 b3daan pill?) to the pharmacist. I felt like a coward, but I looked at my watch pretending to be late for something and got the hell out of there. I’m planning on going back on my way home tonight, fingers crossed that no one else will be there.

Anyway, I was really disappointed to see how little my very intelligent, well-educated friend knew about sex. It made me wonder how little other Lebanese people knew about this. Obviously they don’t talk about it with their parents. I mean fuck, I remember a couple of years ago my girlfriends here thought that virgins couldn’t use condoms because it would break their hymen. They were like 21 at the time.

So looking up information for my friend I found out about this sex hotline in Lebanon where you can call and get information on sex and ask any questions you want anonymously. It wasn’t even easy info to find. So the point of this post, I hope someone in need will come across this in their search on the internet, or will send it to a friend in need (as you can see by the many, many labels I have attached to this post). Let’s do our part to avoid unwanted pregnancies and the spreading of STDs until the government starts doing its part and requiring sex education.


So girls and guys, my advice to you? Stay safe and go to your pharmacy and buy condoms (keep a couple on you at all times) and the morning after pill, you never know when you or your partner will need it.
Girls, if you’re having sex regularly, go to the doctor and get a prescription for birth control. If you’re worried your doctor will tell your parents, they can’t if you’re an adult (over 18) as doctor-patient confidentiality exists. Also, you can tell you doctor you are having really bad periods that are painful and want to go on birth control, which is very common, so you can be on birth control with your parents knowing…(in case you need them to pay for it). And please, no sex without condoms. Are you interested in getting AIDS or gonorrhea?


Stay safe,

Love

LZ

PS: Many may be wondering why the guy himself didn’t use condoms. Apparently he is convinced that the pulling out method works, that all the times he has used condoms it breaks, that when ur in the heat of the moment you really don’t want to put a condom on, and probably also that its not quite as pleasurable for him. Well I’m sorry, but fuck him. Is he the one that is going to end up pregnant? Is he ready to be a father? Do you want the STDs that he is going to give you from having unprotected sex with other women? And if he doesn’t even care about you enough to put on a condom to protect the both of you, why the hell would you want to be having sex with him anyway?


PPS: Thanks to the anonymous post from before for directing me on how to get through the Arabic language obstacle on blogspot.com



_______________


If you're in Lebanon and have questions about sex, AIDS, STDs, etc., call the LFPA or SIDC anonymously.


The Lebanon Family Planning Association (LFPA)

Contact InformationTelephone: (961) 1/ 318575 or (961) 1/ 311978Fax: (961) 1/ 318575 or (961) 1/ 311978


P.O. Box: 118240 Corniche El Mazraa, Masken Bldg



'Soins Infirmiére et Développement Communautaire' (SIDC),

Youssef Karam st, Daou bldg, 1st floor Sin El Fil El Metn Lebanon
01 480714, 01 482428 01 480714, 01 482428
P.O.Box: 55391 – Sin El Fil




~LZ

9 comments:

  1. Almost everyone I know in Lebanon has unprotected sex. They have no concept of STDs. No matter how much I tried to educate them, it was all in vain.

    I've noticed that those of us who have traveled abroad may have a better understanding of safe sex.

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  2. Very true... I was in a French school in KSA, and we had sex ed starting 5ème (~12 years old) – how ironic! It's only until I reached the workplace in Lebanon that I found out that sex is a very taboo subject, and that Lebanese schools don't even come close to sexual education. Very sad!

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  3. Absolutely sad - "pulls out" - wow, she must really trust him.

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  4. I'd like to add that men should not keep condoms in their wallets as it is more likely to "break".

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  5. well said... and pretty sad! you should tell your friend that because of these "methods", abortion is roaring in Lebanon. In very dangerous conditions.

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  6. enta masal a3la la kel lebnene ;)

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  7. in lebanon is a very complicated logic don't judge yourself sweety

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