Lost in Translation

I love it when I read articles on Lebanese non-Arabic sites. Some of them are just beyond entertaining!

Check out the following news article on Naharnet.

Cabinet on Low Fire as Preparations for Lebanon-Syria-Saudi Summit Underway

So, there is this saying in Arabic that goes "3ala nar khafifa", literally translating into something being cooked at low temperature or low heat. When used figuratively, one is indicating that someone/something is just going to take his/her/its' time to finish doing something.

Oh Ahmad, how is that deal going with Tony?
Ahmad: 3ala nar khafifa habibna, 3ala nar khafifa.

Now, let's just translate that into English shall we?

Oh Edd, how is that deal going with Anthony?
Edd: on low fire love, on low fire.

It just doesn't work.

You would think people over at Naharnet will either start learning proper English soon, or hire someone who knows proper English.

I just find it entertaining!

BG

Pocketless?!

I think every Lebanese politician/public worker should be issued one of these!

BG

Les idiots occupent nos places

This is exactly the type of situation where I am grateful that I know more than one language:

Me sitting correctly in my assigned seat on an intra-american flight minding my own business, while the plane is boarding.
Enter an overdressed American looking blonde with an estimated 1/2 kg of makeup exuding an air of confidence and entitlement, followed by a little girl around the age of 5.
Said woman stops in the middle of the isle by my seat, looks at me and proceeds to talk in my direction.

Woman (with a condescending tone): You are in our seats. (no excuse me or any sort of that kind of pleasantries)

Me: Excuse me?
Woman: These are my seats!

Woman does not wait for an answer or an explanation or a resolution to the problem and proceeds to call the hostess on the flight. The method used to call the hostess is extremely interesting.

Woman:
Hostess, hostess
Excuse me
Come over!
(woman proceeds to whistle to get the hostess's attention, followed by fingers snapping)

Little blonde girl asks her mother what is going on?

Woman (with the most horrible americanized french accent imaginable): les idiots occupent nos places

To which the little girl replies: what mommy?
Woman (using same accent): assieds toi! (which sounded more like asayeh tuwa)

At this moment, hostess arrives.

Woman: These people are in my seats! (yah, like you own them lady!)
Hostess: Let me see your boarding pass please.

Woman hands over boarding pass.

Hostess: m'am, you're seated over there, these seats are for your other flight!

Woman ignores hostess and proceeds to talk to child: allownzee

Me: bonne journee madame!

Moral of the story: 1/2 a kg of make-up looks horrible when you're embarrassingly blushing!

BG

Parliament Elections 2009 #5

Hehehe,
Where do I even start with this video?
This has got to be some of the best material to come out of Lebanon in this elections season!

Sleiman Frengieh, Maronite candidate in Zgharta, is giving his supporters a piece of his mind. Basically telling them to each go home and that he wants no one creating problems on his own turf.
Classic really. I'm not entirely sure when this was filmed, but I'm guessing sometime after his and 14th March supporters had an altercation. He is clearly furious in the video, he even slaps one of the guys. Hehe, this is after he gave another a good shove. To his defence though, the guy did try to give him what seemed like a hug. No offense intended to anyone, but if you look at the guy in the video, I wouldn't wanna hug him either. If you're looking like a chav and trying to give me a hug after sweltering in 80-90 degree heat pumped up on adrenaline, I'd be running in the other direction.

I'm not gonna translate the video word by word. It speaks for itself really.
But that's mostly the gist of it.
Oh, and the best part is when he tells them there's probably around 30,000 "donkeys" in this village. Hey, at least he knows his constituency well.
Nah, je blague.
LOL

BG

Parliament Elections 2009 #4

I just LOVE this cartoon, better known in Lebanon as caricature.

It is Sunday morning here in Amrika and as usual, I'm reading all my newspapers and blogs with the regular morning espresso (minus the habitual cigarette, as I stopped a month ago) and I came across this hilarious cartoon by Armand Homsi from Annahar daily.

So, two Lebanese, presumably husband and wife are sitting down watching TV, most likely the news. TV announces the discovery of 3 cases of swine flu at Beirut's airport. That prompted the guy to say: we were expecting electors, but we got "mrashahin", which in Arabic translates both into people running for elections, or people with the flu. I think it's genius. I love it.

Obviously a play on words there, but also a clear reference to the fact that candidates and parties are flying people in to come vote in the elections (although no evidence has surfaced as of yet implicating anyone, I know, I know, plenty of reports). However, this has actually created a real concern for Lebanese officials. No it's not what you think, they are not worried about corruption and vote buying or vote rigging. They are actually concerned with the possibility that a lot of the voters that will be coming in to vote might actually be exposed to the virus and thus carry the risk of infecting other people in Lebanon, possibly triggering an endemic situation. Especially so since North American countries who have been so far the hardest hit with this virus (US, Canada, Mexico) have huge numbers of Lebanese immigrants.

So, could we possibly be on the verge of a Swine Flu (eh, I mean Mexican Flu) endemic/pandemic situation??

I think not, but remains to be seen.

BG

Parliament Elections 2009 #3

Continuing on the theme of elections.

Another classic video from Kalam El Nass and made more so memorable by our lovely and ever so eloquent Lebanese politicians.

Khitab (speech) Market

It starts off with the whole Fares Boueiz and Nimatallah Abi Nasr debacle. Both running for the Maronite seat in Kisrwan. As you might remember, Aoun may or may not have promised Boueiz to be included on his list in Kisrwan, but may or may not have reneged on that promise. This prompted Boueiz to say that he was glad not to have entered the "cage of chicks" in Kisrwan, referring to Aoun's candidates. This in turn prompted a back and forth debacle between Abi Nasr and Boueiz, each accusing the other of being a different kind of bird, chicks and peacocks and so forth.

It's nice to see that people are running on useful platforms.

Then Michel El Murr calls Aoun's people "jlabbit" mostly translating as "little ones" but in a derogatory manner.

Ah, the joys of the Arabic language.

Off to the other Michel, calling his opponents "bsaynet", which technically translates into "cats" but probably meant "pussies".

Then back to the first Micho, with an online, on-air, live Kiss Okhta, no translation needed, nuff said there!

And then Geagea ever so eloquently as well compares his opponents to frogs that are inflating themselves (pompous type of inflating) and that they will soon explode!

BOOM BOOM, we all know how much we all love explosions!

Back to Micho, threatening to cut people's tongues and hands off, if they disagreed with him that is. I mean, non non non, he would not just do it for fun. C'est sauvage comme ca. La2 la2 la2, only when they disagree with him. Oh, and he finishes it all off by saying that he will just step on the small ones and smash them like ants. Only if they disagreed with him as well.
Il est gentil ce type. 3adatan byil3ab mnee7 ma3 el 2akhareen, bass ma t2arbo sawbo.

Nice to see that every candidate in Lebanon has a platform they are running on and that they actually use their time in effectively promoting these programs.

You have to admit though that their use of the Arabic language is impeccable and their theatrical performances are classic. Not to mention similes, oxymorons, paradoxes, and so on and so forth.

BG

WOW, April already??!!

It must be April fool's day in Lebanon.

The idea itself is just laughable, laudable, but laughable.


BG

above link:
http://www.dailystar.com.lb/article.asp?edition_id=1&categ_id=2&article_id=102488

Un-Kosher Flu

You just gotta love the Israelis.
So apparently, Swine flu is un-kosher, and it has to be renamed Mexican Flu!

Gotta be the funniest thing to come out of Israel in a while!

BBC
TIME

BG

Lebanon the Teacher

Georgian Deputy Premier apparently thinks he can learn a lot from Lebanon. In a recent visit to Lebanon he says that Lebanon can teach his country a lot of lessons especially when it comes to the relations Lebanon has with its neighboring countries. You can find the article at the following link:

http://www.naharnet.com/domino/tn/NewsDesk.nsf/getstory?openform&D2443E40F8EFA1ABC225754A004F2275

The idea to me sounds very funny. Lebanon teaching other countries lessons or even being an example to follow. Sure thing. In addition to exporting our best and brightest to foreign countries maybe we should also be exporting our failed models of democracy on confessional rule. Or maybe our model of co-existence and peace and love and harmony amongst all of our 18 different sects. See, we love each other so much that every couple years or so we take at each other's throats. I mean, what says I love you more than a full round of AK47 bullets. Or maybe our failed model of governance and corruption and continuous negative budget and so on and so forth.
If anything, any country seeking to learn things from Lebanon, should learn to never ever follow Lebanon's lead, especially when it comes to relations with neighboring countries.

BG

Bushisms

This has got to be one of my favorite articles on BBC today.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7809160.stm